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Dig in to your experience, what you’re interested in and passionate about, and be generous with that. Your job is to establish rapport and common ground, not swing your big …brain.
The guys here at Primer have, at different times, been in the New York, Los Angeles, and Denver dating scenes off and on for years. I’ll risk you breaking my nose trying boxing if you’re down for [your favorite local adventure/cocktail spot/etc.] If you’re thinking, “I don’t have time for that!
I don’t want to insult our readership with this, but for the troglodytes who somehow found their way to Primer: Aziz Ansari uses the perfect app pickup line: “Going to Whole Foods. ” It’s unexpected, overtly nurturing, and signals an upper middle class socioeconomic status. By targeting everyone generally you’re targeting no one.
Internal testing at Primer indicates the personal touch works.
It can be anything, but it needs to be something you share – even just an interest in travel. Third, it gives you a topic to begin and expand into a real conversation. If their pictures or bio don’t give you anything to work with, move on. After you’ve suggested a shared interest, be generous with your personality, opinions, and passions. Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman has written about this in his excellent book Humor signals both intelligence and the ability to win others over, both traits highly desirable in a potential heavy petting partner.If you’re the kind of guy who does this, stop reading this article, get off the apps, and seek help.For most guys, however, it means just a few commonsense best practices. Flirt, but keep it G or PG until you’re face to face.A quick google search reveals a bias in the online-dating advice industry: it’s all about pictures, bios, and listicles of “the 10 unwritten rules of online dating.” This stuff is important. You need a fire profile and to understand the etiquette.
But here’s the thing: this advice is easy to give because it’s easy to implement.
Apply that to who you (really) are and trust that the right people will connect with it.