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Magazine, my #1 source of sunscreen reviews and inside scoops on complicated vegetable-related pedicure situations, has released its first-ever “Aging Survey.” Well, according to the press release, it’s actually an “Anti-Aging” survey, a problematic title which seems to suggest that “anti-aging” is a position human beings are capable of endorsing when, to the best of my knowledge, only face lotions can declare themselves to be “anti-aging.” If you’re anti-aging, does that mean you’re pro-death?

If you’re pro-aging, can you still be anti-aging-serum? Luckily many other questions asked: important, pressing questions like “is George Clooney aging gracefully?

You were out with friends and she walked into the room.

I would hate to bore you by telling you how wonderful I am by attaching to my name a bunch of flattering adjectives.