Dating emotional cripple
Are you more concerned with winning the point than honoring the right to keep past mistakes that have long been overcome, stopped, corrected, made up for, repented of, buried there?Are you more interested in beating your opponent into submission that honoring human decency? And once changed, to be treated as that changed person.When you see the person you’re arguing with as an opponent to be beat, someone you’re in battle with, rather than a partner working toward agreement, coming to a shared understanding, what’s said matters less than who wins—when in truth, nobody wins in such circumstances, at least not in the long-run.This way, you can feel justified in taking some course of action a responsible person never would. Inside, they are barely hanging on so they overcompensate by tightening their grip on everything (and often everyone) outside.
So it is with chronic criers who use their tears to get their way (this does NOT mean that all chronic criers use their tears to end or control an argument.
Emotional bullies do the same thing for the same reason. Instead of lunch money, they rob relationships of trust and kindness and respect and depth and maturity. Are they calm discussions or are they punctuated by anger and rage and abusive words meant to hurt? Perhaps you suspect you may be, but are not quite sure.