Dating after bereavement
Keeps talking down to me and telling me Things I need to do for her to prove my love and keeps yelling and belittling me during our phone calls. He belittled me when no one was around and made me feel like crap about myself.I know she is under a lot of stress but my doctor taught me not to accept that kind of abuse in life. When he felt like he was loosing me with his mental abuse, he would call me back trying to spend time with me and i loved him so much i would grant him that wish because i just wanted to be with him. .” As these words hit me once more and I refused to stunningly not reply, “what did I do? ” I realized I was allowing once again for the ex to enter into my self esteem and now for two days have none functional thinking I am worthless enough not to carry on.She is trying to become an advocate for Domestic abuse and keeps saying everyone in the jail has been falsely arrested and it is her goal in life to stand up to the abusers, She even calls me and abuser and I have done a little research to put myself in check in case she is right. just tend to doubt myself knowing I may possibly have picked up some of my dad’s traits unconsciously. He text me out of the blue and told me that he didn’t want to be with my anymore and best of luck with my future relationship because he was tired of me putting him last in this relationship and cheating on him and it felt like it was one of the worst days of my life when he reached out to me with that news because we were on somewhat good term. On a schedule of about every 2-4 days I run into thinking I must call ex and talk.Think if I can vent with a few others I can clarity in what I am feeling and stop doubting myself. Reply I recently broke it off with someone I believe is a narcissts or atleast deplays many of the traits. gaslighting, cognitive dissonance—my brain won’t work. it just wants to go around and around, like that will save me. i thought it was all over and i was going through my healing process and now I’m hearing from people that he is all on social media saying so many bad things about me and it hurts like hell because all I’ve ever tried to be was good to him. i hate that i love him so much because i feel like i could fix him but i know that i cant change his behavior and the longer i accept it, the longer i will be one sad puppy trying to win his love and he will never fix himself. When I do I end up feeling guilty about his emotions, he tells me how messed up I am, and calls me profanity names in front of our 24 year old son like he has been doing for 24 years. One more thing I did experience a Post experience all over again last week when he did something again to me “hitting below the belt”. Signing off and thanks for the brief help to guide me on the right path Bonnie Reply Hello I’m glad to of found this website, I have come out of a 2 year relationship with a N.Eighteen years ago I married the most arrogant man I have ever known, then divorced 12 years and two children later and married a schizophrenic man for a short year an a half and then after being crushed because I truly loved this one with all my heart, I tried to date after 4 years of grieving and found myself attracting the same types of men over and over. They were charming and extremely kind at first but always wanted to rush into marriage and a serious commitment by the second month, so I would break it off out of fear of getting entrapped in another bad relationship.
He refusal to accept her deliberate, twisted, Selfish, mistakes. There is a lot more to the story but that isn’t important, what is, is the fact that I am slowly healing. If they try to start a conversation, tell them you are doing great and then excuse yourself. Like several of u are mentioning, i have been a basket case for the past 3 wks, but after tonight, i pray i just get stronger each day, cause this is wearing me out.Thanks Rick, Reply Very true informative advice given here. I need to stop focusing on the narc and focus on healing and stop obsessing about narcissism on the internet. I have blocked him from my phone, it has been 1 one week since phone contact and two weeks since physical contact. I just want to get strong enough delete him from social media and not even care… i can’t seem to pull the energy together to believe any thoughts beyond nothing, can’t move, don’t care. but no energy to pick myself up and do something different. So now i have to learn how to live again and pick up the pieces from where i left off. I feel like after this debut reading of the high points I will pursue this path to a recovery where I was falling deeper and deeper into a pit. He threatens to distort my children’s lives or Detroit something I love to get what he wants. I felt like I never met his expectations and he always had these boxes that needed to be ticked for him to move in with me and be a family with my daughter from another relationship.I would really like to get to a place that I can block him on social media. Reply Melissa, Im going through the same thing, I can’t find myself to delete him from social media he unfriend me but we have murual friends so I can see when he likes their post, I thought this “no contact” would be easy but its heart breaking. Just one day ago I was in contact with my ex for over 25 years and he nailed me again. He was always telling me wat I should be doing as it would be the “correct” way.Until then, I hope that your journey is filled with happiness and joy for the blessings that these experiences teach us about ourselves.
I will still choose to find joy and to live with hope in my heart that someday I will be whole enough to find a respectful man to share my life with. You’ve been suffering for much longer than six months, and healing will also take much longer than six months.
It just seems I can never get away from it and everyone thinks this man is such a good one, even my own family doesn’t realize the detriment and pain it has caused us.